Man I don't know when i've ever been so fucking miserable. I'm lonely. All of my friends are hours away, and the friends that I have here, all three of them, just blow me off. Like I'll call and text and flat out say I'm lonely and they just disappear. And it hurts. And the person I want to be with, wants to be with me but he's "confused" and "doesn't want to hurt me." And that just hurts more.
I just want to feel wanted. And I know people care but it's really hard to be all the way over here when all the people I care about are all the way over there with new friends and going out and doing things.
All I do is lay in my fucking bed depressed as hell and my heart aches and my stomache hurts and I just want a friend and i just want to be needed.
I'm just so miserable and it just hurts so much.
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2 comments:
Hey. I don't know if you want me reading this, and if you don't, just say so. But I can definitely tell you that I will always need you. Not just as someone who is there when things are bad, but I need you to brighten my days, and give me something to come home for. I'm sorry you are so lonely and if I could snap my fingers and make your true friends appear in your bedroom and drag you out of bed I would. I know that doesn't count for much, but you have picked yourself up from far below where you are now. I have complete faith in you; even though we all have weak moments, you carry so much strength and you spread it to your friends. Some days we just need to have a little faith in knowing that people love us and need us...it doesn't always do the trick, but it might help. Please continue to reach out to me for anything and everything..I may not come through but I hate to let you down. I love you every day.
One day at a time, try and see the sunshine through the clouds. and don't get so mad at those birds outside your window..imagine it's camp (if that helps).
miss you to pieces.
you know how to reach me.
love, elaina.
i am sad to hear that you are so lonely. i wish i could make that better, and in some odd way, i know how you feel and i've been there before, most definitely. it's not a good feeling, but just know that it can't last forever... unless you let it, ya know? sometimes when i'm really unhappy, i force myself to be happy about something..anything - and then usually i start to feel better.
i can't wait to see you this weekend, i am so excited - you have no idea. i missed you so much the past two months.
love.
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