Skin.

I'm going home to Jersey on Sunday morning afternoon for my father's surgery. And I'm starting to feel a little anxious. I understand that prostate cancer is very curable and this surgery is probably one of those "whatever" kind of procedures so I don't think it's the surgery that I'm nervous about exactly I think it's more so the drama.

That's probably selfish. Fucked up.

But I just hate drama and I love love my father but I don't want to go home to a pity party. I want to show support and I want to be there to give him a hug before the procedure and I want my mom to have someone to lean on. I don't want anyone to talk about my dad having cancer, or the months of recovery, or the long term effects.

Being there for other people seems a lot easier than being there for myself. I have no problems showing up for someone else. Dealing with another family, mine just frustrates me to no end, so while I'd like to stay there forever and help out with anything, three days sounds long enough to me.

I wonder if that makes me a sucky person?