And you may ask yourself-well...how did I get here?

I really don't have a clue what is going on anymore. Last night Kyle got in from the bar and filled me in on his theory of my parents having had a make-up session. And you know what? Great. Awesome. Fantastic. I'm glad that they have worked things out to some sick satisfaction. But I am beyond angry right now over the whole thing.

This morning I received a phone call from my aunt (my dad's sister) asking me to fill her in on what is going on-I let it go to voice mail but when I finally got out of bed to tell my dad he needed to call her he gave me attitude asking about him to call his sister!!! Listen I get it that he doesn't want anyone concerned but holy fuck don't you dare take anything out on me. I do not care if I was in the wrong place at the wrong time and found all of this out but I have also been the one that he broke down sobbing to for the past two days.

So a while later my father and brother went to the movies and I went up to my mom and told her that I needed to say something. So I told her that if she ever did anything like that again-she would no longer be my mother. I told her that I had lived these past few days in fear of my father's stability.

I guess all the stress from the past couple of days had just caught up to me this morning when I let that anger out and lashed out on my mother. I think this might be sick but I really got a lot of satisfaction out making her cry. I'm just so angry.

But I really want to thank all the people that have been around to listen to me. Kelsey who, even though I've only met once, sat with me on the phone for like twenty minutes during the phillies game; Kris who put up with my drunken-babbling-bawling at random hours of the day; everyone who has texted me to just say that they love me; and mostly my boy who dealt with a lot of drunken crying and I love yous, and threats if he ever thinks of pulling this shit with me and still wanted to be there and drink beer in my car and sing stupid love songs with me.

I don't know where I would be without any of you. I don't know if I'd survive, without a friend like you in my life..

Thanks everyone.